Patient: mach "where is the quickest way to the comfort room to relieve yourself from the waste inside of you?"

Well mach what a very intelligent question you have for me!!??!! hahaha...But as i am Dr.Blogger i answer all the questions this crapy world has to offer me! :) So here's my answer to that...i am sure this goes for everyone (well everyone I know for a fact). The best place you can lay your ass and feel like a King or Queen is at home! Nothing feels better than sitting down and concentrating all your efforts for the Big dump in your own toilet. Of course given the fact that you're at home it should be the quickest way as well, right? At home you get the priviliges of reading a magazine or the newspaper while you're spatting out all the crap from your ass! Then you can also fart and crap out as loud as you want since your not hiding form anyone hahaha. And the best thing about that is you can actually wash your ass using water and soap (hopefully all of you do that!!!) unlike when your in a public toilet which in you just usually use tissue paper. But i still have a list of the best and quickest places you can take a shit at!I have arranged this list giving comfortability more of an advantage than being the quickest area to take a shit at, everybody should know the power to hold it in you hahaha....
1. Your Home
- As i mentioned there is no place like home specially for a person who wants to crap out an elephant!

2.Hotel Bathrooms
- Hotels are public areas. You don't need to be checked in or going to one of their restaurants just to go inside a Hotel you can just actually go inside and look around. So If their is a Hotel near you just pretend you are going to check in or you're looking for a expensive restaurant then as soon as you spot the bathroom sign you go run for that classy bathroom which hotels usually have! Now your ass is sitting in a five star quality toilet!!! (or 4 star or 3 star or whatever star hotel it is) The best part is they usually don't run out of toilet paper!

3. Coffeeshops
- Now everybody is into the trend of hanging around coffeeshops with a relaxing and social ambiance. Drinking some coffee, pretending to be busy with their notebooks feeling like they're a million bucks. Well well well what they don't know is the coffeeshops toilet is a untapped area for shitters. Unlike restaurants coffeshops have a lesser probability for their customers to take a shit. Since they do not serve heavy food and usually customers just use the bathrooms to take a piss. But not me I actually pretended to look for a friend inside a Starbucks (they have one of the better bathrooms!) outlet and acting like "hmmm where is he?" then i just go bardging to the toilet and unloading a big sunken ship! hahaha...

Worst Places!!!
1. Buffet Restaurants
- Imagine all of those people pigging out! i would never like to be the cleaning person for their bathrooms!!!

2. Malls
- So many people meaning more probability that one has to go and answer the call of nature anytime! And one more thing there is no tissue all the time!!! What can i use to wipe my ass??!! My underwear???!!! Eventough its the quickest way when you're actually in the mall I'd rather hold it in me till I get to a better bathroom.

3. Your Office / Your School
- I don't know but i really feel very vulnerable when am crapping out here. And i know a lot of people feel the same way too. Maybe it's the feeling that after taking a shit you have to act normal when you go back to your offfice or your classmroom and act like nothing happend.And acting is not easy hahaha....

Thank you mach and I hope you give me more questions!